The Lie that Cost me My Community

Isolation in the Name of God - Dangers of Ministry -  Episode 5

When I was in university, I had a friend group. These ladies were a huge pillar of support to most of us in the group. We were there for each other when we needed it. We had our fair share of fights. We had deep moments of fellowship, and we just enjoyed the mundane occurrences that make life interesting, eventful and fulfilling. A few years after school, I was told to “be careful of my friends.” Even more, I was cautioned to separate myself from them because they had incurred God’s wrath by dishonouring a man of God. The warning was to separate myself from them to avoid being collateral damage in the wrath of God. It is circumstances like these that get people to seclude themselves.

I’ve seen this played out in various ways, when a man of God uses his influence to get someone to shun their community and present themselves as the most reliable option. You may hear things like, “Your friends are not genuine,” “Your friends don’t love you,” among others. What’s worse is if you have any hidden offences against them, these promptings will land on a fertile ground and inspire you to exile yourself.

One of the concepts I fell in love with early in my quest to understand the Kingdom of God was community. It is a central theme in understanding the very nature of God. A wise man once said that when God calls man, he calls him alone; but that man’s relevance is communal. When in Genesis 1:26, God said to himself, “Let us make man in our image,” there was a message hidden there: God, in His very nature exists in community; the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

In the animal kingdom, we have many animals moving around in packs or groups, in the marine kingdom, we have fish moving in groups; and with man, we have family. Family by birth or by association.

Should there be a separation or corruption of the divine order of things, one of the sure ways to kickstart or fuel it is by separation. If a predator wants to catch prey, its easier to target the one who has strayed from the pack. If an individual; a part of a group is to be outsmarted, it will be most successful when that person is made distinct from the group and keeps engagement secret from the group.

In community, we can find strength. The Bible said, a three-fold chord cannot be broken. In the akan culture, there is a proverb : “Prayɛ, sɛ woyi baako a na ebu; wokabomu a emmu" meaning: When you remove one broomstick it breaks, but when you put them together, they do not break."  The body of Christ operates very similarly. The Kingdom of God thrives on community, communal worship and fellowship.

I once struggled with the existence of so many church denominations; I could not find anything like it in Scripture, and I was inclined to see it as a man-made structure that had gradually taken on divine authority. My pastor tried to help me understand the concept using the analogy of blind men describing an elephant. Each described what they touched, but none encountered the whole. This analogy taught me something about God’s dynamic nature. Over time, He reveals different aspects of Himself to different people. Our interpretations of those encounters inevitably shape how we express and relate to Him. Revelation is partial and progressive.

In a similar manner to how the Bible describes the Kingdom of God in many different parables, the body of Christ has factions that partially express the nature of God. Jointly, we see a clearer picture. God being God, He will consistently show up in these various ways, in a bid to draw all men to Himself. No denomination on its own can claim supremacy or sovereignty over the other. We are one body. And truly, when we all get to Heaven, Jesus will sort out all the other issues.

It is for this reason, that when churches or ministries normalise an “us vs them” language, it is very dangerous. I’ve experienced instances where members are advised to distance themselves from non-members. In some ministries, external relationships are portrayed as spiritually dangerous. God uses community in many different ways and when we encourage isolation in the name of Holiness, we are treading on dangerous grounds.

Isolation is a danger in ministry because it breeds spiritual dependency on men. It fuels the loss of discernment and fosters psychological control of the members of the ministry. In such environments, you’ll find that there’s intellectual stagnation, suppression of conviction, social punishment as a control mechanism and cult-like group dynamics.

The multiplicity of factions in the church has generated a sense of competition. Members of one denomination see the other as a danger to their congregation’s growth. So much so that some ministries deem listening to messages from other ministries as some form of betrayal or the lack of integrity.

There are some aspects of God that are best learnt from others. No one man (or ministry) can claim to have superior knowledge of God – He alone is sovereign in knowledge.

As I’ve growing to understand how God operates, I’m convinced that, in His wisdom, He reveals different aspects of Himself to different people, to foster more communal dependency and fellowship within the body of Christ. It is a humbling thing to discover that despite all the personal revelations one may have had about God, there is still more to learn about Him, through others. This is one way we can practice submission of one to another in love.

When a church member moves from one congregation to another, be it for conviction from the Holy Spirit, the purpose of family relocation, better cultural fit, preferred mode of worship, etc. it should not be deemed defection. I’ve seen too many instances when those who leave are labelled rebellious or fallen, and for that, relationships are severed as punishment. Where is the room for discernment? Where is the room for conviction? What if God redirects people’s paths based on their seasons’ assignment?

In ministry, we are wired to rely on the whole body of Christ, and not just the local assembly to better relate with one another, with God, and be useful to the expansion of His Kingdom.

When Jesus took time away from His disciples, He always returned. When Moses climbed the mountains to commune with God, He always returned. There is a difference between healthy solitude (as in a biblical retreat) and manipulated isolation. Isolation is a tool of the enemy to corrupt, distract and sow seeds of discord in the body of Christ. We need to be intentional about differentiating between personal consecration and institutional isolation.  Man was not made to live as an island.

Holiness does not require isolation. If your growth requires disconnection from the wider body of Christ, ask why.

Community. We were built for it.